i hate myself, not you.

oh i'm still a stalker.
and i saw it.
that was very long.
first, it was jealousy again.
then i started pondering why don't u treat me the way u do to her.
why why why why why
maybe cos i'm too stalker-ish.
but my heart breaks every time i think of it.
it hurts so fucking bad. i'm not even exaggerating it.

i just find every shit so fucking unfair.
you share no shit with me. well i can't remember if i did.
but no, i don't know whats the problem between us.
i am clueless.
i need someone to explain it to me.
i want it to be happy, not a scary memory thats gonna haunt me the rest of my life.
my only wish is that you could treat me the way u treated her.