How can I love my family more? x

Today, I felt like a little girl.
Suddenly, I miss the little me a lot.. like when I was in kindergarten...
I stick w mom & pap so often.. especially mom. I wasn't an independent child at all..
I was so dependent on mom till a pretty mature age.. I can't remember when.. but there was this time mom wanted to go to HK with aunt, but I was so attached to mommy.. I can vaguely remember that I was a really big baby.. I can't sleep without mommy.. blahblahblah.. I need mommy 24/7.. some sort..
And i'm very scared.. still..... that one day, pap& mom will leave me permanently.. I can not imagine that.. I can not imagine living without them.. I'm afraid I can't make it.. They mean too much for me.. My family is my everything.. especially my parents.. Now i know.. There's nobody else that would love me as much as they do.. They are super special to me... So I pray to God that they will be healthy and safe no matter what.. And please, do not let them leave before I do.. Please........ I'm worried about them all the time.. And I hope my family will become a warm and happy one!
I'm scared of life.. I'm scared to live.... Please God, promise me that you would not allow my loved ones to leave before I do..
Amen.