Sunday, June 5, 2011

I CHANGE, YOU CHANGE, AND EVERYONE ELSE CHANGE!

What they are trying to deny is, people do change.
Probably one day, they would deny on a mistake done by their closest. They would go on saying, 'come on, I know him/her. He/she wouldn't do it, I know that."
Face it, people do change, sometimes drastically. It could be due to many factors, such as environmental, or personal.
A lot of people taught me how to do it, partly friends and family, and most importantly, my doppelgänger. She's an excellent mentor. Well, I haven't seen her yet, but I can sorta feel her existence. Whatever.
I know that a lot of people didn't do me wrong, but the fact is they changed me. It's still a myth whether did they change me or did they help me find myself? Jeeeez. Primary schoolmates made me realize how judgmental they are, mostly by appearance. Secondary schoolmates made me realize how disappointing, gossipy, pretentious they can get.

If I die tomorrow, how would they react? Primary schoolmates probably won't even remember me or forget it, they won't give a damn. Secondary schoolmates, I wonder if they are really true innocent or their hearts and minds are so deep I can't reach out, the former I doubt so... No one is truly innocent in this 21st century I suppose. Everyone has an evil side, the scarier it is when it is well hidden cos you never know when is the devil going to spring out and crush out. I think I'm a semi. I'm a bit uncontrollable but I'm definitely good hearted enough.

Err... university friends? They could be the worst of all categories (students wise, you really can't compete with the disastrous outside world). I feel like I'm still safely protected in the bubble :D errrr.. for now, it's not too bad for me. I enjoy being alone, as in I don't have a particular best friend. I'm sick and tired of being devoted to someone when the other part couldn't be bothered. I like hanging out with different people then. And since I know my horrible habit where I can't get along well with a particular someone after a long time, I try to avoid hanging with the same person all the time. It reminds me of the "rotation" in volleyball games :D "rotate, rotate, rotate, rotate".. this sounds a bit tooooo complicated, but it is needed especially for people who gets fucked up easily like me. and it isn't really as complicated as it sounds. ahhh i hate my poor grammar and limited vocabulary. I need to read more books I guess.

I'm exhausted. How can I hide this post? I think it's a bit too revealing. ciaociaociao...
Yawning makes me sleepy or sleepy makes me yawn? I think the former. haha you knw what? I can even yawn (in fact i do it frequently) when I'm already on my bed with my eyes shut. what a bitch right lol. byeeeee x

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